Colossal Holidays

Yes, its been good lately. My lewt has consisted of an Oilers pullover, a Team Canada Hockey jersey, chocolates, comfy socks, Timmies Coffee (always nice over here), scotch and a fair amount of money.

And Shadow of the Colossus for the PS2.

So thanks everyone. You rock.

I'm gonna talk about the game for a bit. Cause it's different. Really different. And I'm a bit of a geek too.

The sense of scale in this game is unreal. See the little guy on the statue's sword? That's you.

So take a game like Prince of Persia, where you are doing a lot of jumping, climbing, shimmying and fighting. Now in this game, you are doing all that on something that is moving. Something that isn't all that happy to have you jumping, climbing, shimmying and fighting all over it. It's a crazy concept, and you'll be spending a lot of time hanging on to the thing as it tries to shake you off. There have been a couple of humorous comics made on the subject of this game as well.

All in all, great stuff though.

Oh yes, and 2 tries and a walkthrough later, I managed to defeat the Ur-Quan in Star Control 2.
Happy days.

Bring me back to life...

This post will be about video games. I'm sorry. If you don't like video games, or are just here to post about your odd sexual preferences, please consider this picture.


They're ducks! At a pool! How delightfully absurd.


Are you still with me?

Good.

Some video game genres need to go. It's for the good of everyone.

1: World War 2 First Person Shooters. We've already had enough. Please. No more. Medal of Honor, Call of Duty, Brothers in Arms, Day of Defeat, Battlefield 1942, Return to Castle Wolfenstein were all very nice games, I'm sure. But no more. If you don't make any more, I'll be your friend.

2: Grand Theft Auto "me too" games. Yes, The GTA series are also good games. Time to move on. No, I'm not interested in your GTA clone. Yes, I'm sure the main characters a badass. And has a gun. And drives cars, some of which aren't his. Hurting...

3: Real Time Strategy. Needs more of a cutback than an outright stoppage. But there have been so freakin many of these coming out lately I just can't even keep up. I love this genre. I really do. But with so many games flying by, a Warcraft 2 or a Total Annihilation might pass me by, and I won't have played it. It keeps me up at night.

Ok, so now we have some free "space" on the new games shelf, right?

So, some stuff that needs to come back:

1: Adventure Games. Indigo Prophecy and the fan-made King's Quest are a good start. But we need more. More more more. Honorable mention to Peasant's Quest as well. But more.

2: "4X games". You know, the old eXplore, eXpand... you know. Master Of Orion 2 and such. But not MOO3. Oh man. If you even mention that game, squirrels will eat your liver.

And I have to go to tea now.

So things have to turn around, right?

Looking back at my last few posts, I realize that things have been a bit rough of late. Things weren't going according to plan. I was not a happy kitty, or um, beaver.

For the most part, I enjoy my job at the UL. The readers up in the Manuscripts are nice, they ask reasonable questions. But the past week, I wasn't able to shrug off the assholes, or even the dicks. Kirsten wasn't back yet, and my Star Control 2 game was looking hopeless.

But things were about to get better.

I was walking (staggering) home last Saturday, and I saw a cat. A black cat. The cat and I hung out for a while, and he fell asleep on my lap. And I knew that things were going to get better.

I managed to ditch my late duties for the next 2 weeks. Evil readers won that round.

Kirsten came back! Back to me! She still hasn't finished the plans for the self-replicating nanobots, but hey, baby steps. When it's ready, we can punish humanity together. Awww...

I went for a pub lunch with some of the people in Manuscripts. I'm glad I did. I don't get a chance to hang out with the archivists at where I work, and it's nice to know they are real people, who like beer, and get pissed off at things like the rest of us. One of them (Peter) even bought me a pint for locating a wayward manuscript that we thought had vanished.

I love the concept of a pub lunch. Down a couple of pints, then go back to work. Makes the day a lot more interesting.

And to cap things off, the scanner broke in the Entrance Hall. I don't know how. Maybe it was a angry reader. Maybe an angry member of staff. I like to think that our collective hatred for the stupid thing formed a "hate ball", or ball of arcane hate, which then sundered the foul thing in a mighty blast.

I would also like to think that these powers would work on other stupid things, like Bush. But I think we are just making him angry and stupid (bandwidth intensive). And maybe scared (also bandwidth intensive).

Despite all my rage...

I'm still just a rat in a cage?

Nah, that's not right. Rats can be phearsome. People might look at a rat in a cage and say "Wow, look at that rat's rage. Good thing it's in a cage. That's not like my rage at all.

Nope, my rage is more like a papillion in a cage. You know kind of cute and tiny, and you know if it ever got out, the worst it would do is bark a bit, and wee on your shoe. So people would say "Awww, look at that papillion's rage. He thinks he's so tough. You're so tough. Yes you are."

But why to I have the rage? Well, they fixed the scanner in the entrance hall. So now instead of simply checking their books, I now have to ask them to scan their cards as well. No big deal, right?

Well, unfortunately it is. The problem comes on two fronts. First is the asking, as asking someone to scan their card in this country seems to be on about on par as asking them if you could go have rough sex with their mom and post the pictures on the Internet.

Second is the reader themselves. The scanning of the card is difficult partly because the scanner is crap and the readers have no idea how it works. I've seen readers scan their card with the barcode on the wrong side. I've seen them put their entire bag on the scanner, thinking that the narrow beam of light is going to find that card in there somehow. "My card won't scan" is a common one, and usually solved by my taking the card, flicking my wrist, and having the card scan instantly.

Therefore, I choose to supply this guide, on "How to scan your reader's card - the Asshole way"

1: After taking out your books, put your reader's card in the deepest darkest crevice in your pants for maximum inconvenience factor.

2: Attempt to walk out the gate. Ignore the exit control guy's instructions.

3: When the gate doesn't open, hold up what you are carrying and dry-hump the gate a few times. When this gets dull, listen to the exit control guys comments "Could you scan your card?" . Wait until he's said this about 5 or 6 times before approaching the scanner.

4: Roll your eyes, sigh and proceed to stack your books around the scanner. Reach for the readers card you just put away in some random location. Sigh a lot, and make sure you stand in front of the scanner so that other readers who have their cards out can't scan their cards or get out. They'll appreciate it. Try and drag out this step as long as possible.

5. Once you have found your card, throw it on the scanner. Give the exit controller a chumpy look when it doesn't scan.

6. Ignore the exit controller when he shows you how to scan your card. This is too much work and will deprive you of the pleasure of going through this all over again.

7. Leave, but make a snide or snarky comment. After all, the exit controller clearly is a big wig, and it surely was his idea to put the stupid card scanner there. Besides, he's probably having too good a day as is, and has no human emotions.

8. Go home, bang hot wife/mistress. Drink martinis and complain about 6 figure salaries, lack of reliability in Porches, and the assholes at the UL.

Yeah, I really don't like working the entrance hall very much.

It's all out now...

Someone is fucking with me...

Now I'm a atheist. I don't believe in "a God" or several "Gods". But sometimes my life takes turns that are just a bit too ironic. Now, if someone is pulling strings, they have a bit of a fucked up sense of humor.

I was about to write a post about how I felt really really old. I left our Churchill guest night early, and still was beat the next day. I didn't finish the post because it was kinda lame. To sum up, I felt much older than my 27 years on this planet would account for.

So I go grocery shopping. And in this country, like every civilized country in the world, they don't make you go into a separate store to buy booze. It's right there. So I buy some beer, as beer is good here, and I happen to like to drink it from time to time.

I get ID'd. (Drinking age here is 18 in the UK)

I get fucking ID'd.

Nothing quite says "You look like a little bitch" quite like getting ID'd when you are 27 years old. And have a wedding ring. And credit cards. And a few grey hairs. And the person asking this looks barely 18 themselves.

So I feel about 40, and apparently look like a 16 year old. Yeah.

I think we know what I need. Facial hair. If that fails, Menacing scar.

On a positive note, I got my dongle, so I can play my DS online! My friend code is 373722 872641.

I had an epic nap.

More on this as the story develops.

People are getting angry...

I work late at the entrance hall every Thursday. It's usually a piece of piss, or cake, depending on where you are from. Of course, if someone is going to put on a big ol' pair of the cranky-pants, that's where it's gonna be.

I have seen books and change being thrown. I have seen people refuse to pay late fees. I have seen people ask the stupidest questions. And each time, I bit my tongue, and worked on my blank blank stare.

But people are getting crankier this time of year, no doubt due to the holiday season. So when someone was getting ticked off that he couldn't take out more books until he paid his late fees, he was getting pissy. "I can't believe you are making such a big deal out of this!"

I wasn't dealing with him at the time, but my co-worker was, and his blank stare wasn't working. But two blank stares were better than one, so I tried mine.

He took a step back, but was still unfazed. "Can I talk to someone in charge, like a supervisor?" Yes, that was his big mistake. For he was stubborn, for some reason thinking that we would lend him more books when he wouldn't pay for the ones he had. But we were stubborn as well, and while my stare is good, it paled in comparison to one who had years of practice.

Our supervisors blank stare hit him like a concussion wave, and he troubled us no more. I think he managed to get some money off some of the other readers to pay his fine. He staggered out, weakend by the sight of the eternal void.

Phear the library.

Um... what was the downside again?

So I'm talking to some people about a staff trip.

"It's 9 pounds, and we go shopping for the whole day." They say.

"Yeah, but I have to work..." I reply.

"No, you can go on the trip and have the day off work."

"Don't I have to book the time off?" I'm a bit confused at this point.

"Um, no. You just go."

"So I just go, have the day off work, go shopping, and I don't even have to book it as leave?"

"That's right."

"Ah. Any reason why I wouldn't want to go?" I ask.

"No, not really."

So that was my day last Tuesday. A staff day where we all run off, go Christmas shopping, eat food, drink beers and generally have a good time instead of working. I love the English work ethic. Back in Canada they'd laugh at you if you suggested something like this, and then beat you with reeds for your insolence.

Therein lies my dilemma. I really like it at the UL, and the perks are great, the people are great, and yet I feel I should be doing more. But I also have a desire to keep a death grip on a desk here, as I have had experience with some really shitty jobs on the past, working for some of the biggest dickheads on this side of the universe.

On this trip I happened to find out that a number of co-workers are in possesion of a DS, and that they have been playing online for a little while now. This was enough to get me to order a dongle so that I can play online. I'm a bit disapointed that Lik-Sang didn't have it, as they seem to have everything for consoles, and I have them to thank for getting my PS2 up and running over here. But out of stock on the dongles. Huh.

I'm a bit tired today, cause I spent all evening playing Melee on Star Control 2 with Colin up in our MCR bar. We were on duty, but the people were understanding.

"Can I get a beer?"

"Sweet Mother of Shit! Can't you see we're busy here!? I'm trying to take out a Chmmr Avatar with a Pkunk Fury! Do you know how hard that is? Do you?! HUH?!"

"I'll come back later."