PSA, anime style.

Okie.

I'm back in Cambridge, and I have the interweb again. All is well.

Now, my boy Cibunanoniny has kindly posted a Public Service Announcement (or PSA), about how to fight off zombies. Useful stuff. And not one of you fuckers had the kindness to thank him. But so it goes. Heroes are rarely recognised in their time.

So even though Cibunoanoa has mightily presented his digital nipple of knowledge, and you have collectively sucked it dry, I still feel the need to step forward. Yes, I am here to add to your survivalist knowledge - on how to survive, in an anime. (Not in a amine. If you are stuck in an amine, you are royally fucked.)

The wife and I have seen a lot of anime. Kirsten has seen a large number of series, and I've seen a few too. Some of the ones I've watched have had like no pr0n what-so-ever. Really. But I digress. Here is your 10 point plan to surviving in the anime world.

1. Don't fuck with orphans. They be nasty. On a side note, if your parents die while in an anime, it'll be sad. But you'll get some really cool powers in the end.

2. Giant robots. Nasty as hell, but for some reason they can only be piloted by angst riddled teenagers.

3. The really hot but emotionally distant person who is "showing you the ropes" will hit on you. You have been forewarned. Intercourse may be your only option.

4. The big movers and shakers of the world will be teenagers. 15 is the key age. 18 if they are a veteran of several wars. Bring in the orphan factor and they are scary.

5. If you go to school, it will be attacked. Constantly. One of your teachers is probably helping out. Fuckers.

6. Bringing large over sized weaponry to school is accepted, and even encouraged. Kissing a classmate of the opposite sex will cause a great scandal, however.

7. Talking cats. Cats talk. And they know fucking everything.

8. Women with large breasts are important characters. Pay attention.

9. Scream. A lot. When fighting, running, talking or doing your homework. It's important that you fit in.

10. No matter how Japanese people are, there's always a blonde girl. And a redhead. They will be important. Doubly so if #8 applies. Or if they they are orphans. Intercourse may be your only option.

Now listen. I don't expect much praise for this. It comforts me to know that when the time comes, you'll all be thanking my ass off. It's enough to call me Heroic right now. Or Hero Beav. or Beavero. Go with what comes naturally to you.

Thank you, and be safe.